Current members include:
Philip Payton -Guitar/Lead Vox
Brian Olson - Lead Guitar/Backing Vox
Jeff Bethel - Bass/Backing Vox
Ben Watson - Drums
Brian Olson was born sometime in the 1600's, and is actually immortal. Most of the items we use daily are due to his accomplishments. Some notable inventions of his are: the guitar, lipstick, plaid, cross dressing, boxer briefs, margarine, the color purple, sperm donation, the fu man chu, The Titanic (the movie not the boat), ball point pens, I heart NY t-shirts, the slinky, the pet rock, slap bracelets, tandem bicycles, the sport of curling, Mexico, the reach around, manatees, and many, many more. When he's not inventing, he's usually writing smooth jazz records. The entire Kenny G discocraphy was written while Brian was on the toilet (another one of his inventions). All in all, Brian is the most successful man, ever.
Jeff Bethel, in fact, doesn’t even play his bass. It’s all a backing track. He was asked to rejoin the band due to his strong sex appeal, and his ridiculous, and intense use of “the vibe”. Jeff traveled the world, in an endeavor to become the world’s finest competitive eater. His first stop was in the Middle East where he wanted to train with the monks, to learn the art of Shaolin Kung Fu, and begin his professional eating training. While the kung fu was a giant flop, the professional eating took off. Jeff ate everything that stood in front of him. Gandhi’s famous fast of 1947 had nothing to do with politics. Jeff had actually eaten half of India’s food supply. After disgracing the monks, (by eating a cow whole) Jeff was banned from India, and decided to head east. He preferred training with vanilla wafers, but he once ate the ass end of a skunk, quoting, “If I can eat this, I can fucking eat anything”. Alas, the competitive eating never really took off. Instead, the band rejoined, and Jeff started lighting Iowa on fire with “the vibe” once more.
Benjamin Watson also ventured off into other avenues, leaving music by the wayside. Shortly after putting down his sticks, Ben was bitten by the acting bug. After numerous failed auditions with big city studios, and almost giving up entirely, Ben decided porn was the only way he’d be able to give his acting chops a try. He had a short stint in gay for pay, but soon branched off into major straight productions. Winning awards for his performances in “A Dozen Leather Doughnuts”, “Grease 3: My Travolta Is Bigger Than Yours”, and “Ouch, Ouch, You’re On My Hair”, landed him in the Pornography Hall of Fame. Benjamin eventually threw in the towel, and stated “If it isn’t my drum set, I don’t want to bang it anymore.”
Philip Payton fought to pursue music, finding great success, but with little recognition. When the group first broke up, he found himself in a downward spiral consisting of codeine, pain killers, and re runs of Barney and VH1’s Pop Up Video. He found a job as a short order cook in a strip club, and played coffee shops for tips on the weekends. One Sunday afternoon, a talent scout came to watch Philip and immediately cast him as the lead in his on ice production of," Honey I Shrunk the Kids, and Myself: The Rick Moranis Story". The production was an immediate hit. It was the highest grossing on ice production in history. No matter the success, Philip wasn’t satisfied. He was sick of the long hours, the spandex, having to actually pay for coke, and never being recognized as a real artist. He took his thousands of dollars, his foam head, glittery skates, and left the production never to return to the ice again.